Some of you internet users who are also NEWSPAPER USERS may have noticed a new mini-feature in the New York Times Magazine (my old ALMA MATER) in the ONE PAGE MAGAZINE section called….

ASK JUDGE JOHN HODGMAN

(I had wanted to called it JUDGE JOHN HODGMAN’S VEST POCKET ARGUMENT SETTLER after THIS delightfully weird little book. But as they are trying to fit a whole magazine on a single page, we had to choose BREVITY over WEIRDITY, a bargain I normally loathe to make.)

I am eager to review Please visit THIS NEW PAGE for details as to how to submit your injustices to me, and what I am looking for in a case.

Here is what I promise you: I will review each case personally. I will write back personally if we are going to use your case; and starting tomorrow, I will also write to acknowledge those cases that the court cannot hear. 

Here is what I ask of you: in addition to bearing in mind the basic guidelines, keep it short. Let brevity trump weirdity, and make your case plain and simple, ESPECIALLY if you would like your case to be considered for the magazine. 

And in that spirit, I will sign off now, except to say:

THAT IS ALL.