It is fair to say that my buddy Frank and I have been quite unlucky in love in recent years, with both of us having been through a divorce. Another friend of ours from back in Wesson Eric Wetlaufer however has been with his wife now for over 20 years and they have been together since they began to court at school 26 years ago. Frank and Eric work for the same company so we all regularly meet up, and last week I picked Eric’s brains for some tips on how to make your relationship successful, here is what he had to say.
Communication
Eric says that he and his wife speak about absolutely everything together and they do so in an extremely honest way. There is nothing about Eric’s life that she doesn’t know about and as far as he is concerned, there is nothing about her life that he doesn’t know. This open and honest communication is why Eric believes that his relationship is so healthy.
Loyalty
Being faithful to the person you love is a prerequisite for any relationship and fidelity is a really a wonderful virtue to have. Eric says that he still admires women from afar and has even had some offers which he has declined. Many men are tempted in such situations and although they may not be unfaithful, being tempted in the first place can be very dangerous.
Keeping it Special
Eric tells me that he has always tried to remind his wife how special she is and even now, 20 years down the line, he will still leave little notes or send poems through email to his wife, just to remind her that he loves her. Eric says that many men believe that buying material possessions can be the best way to remind their partners that they love them, and whilst Eric does this he believes that it is far better to remind them with words and deeds rather than with gifts.
Personal Time
Something which Eric is very committed to is spending private time with his wife and although they both lead very busy lives, they always try to make time for each other. Very often they will take weekend break to the countryside and they will always have a date night at least once per week. Eric believes that these moments are essential for maintaining a healthy relationship and that not enough couples make time for themselves.
Listening
Finally Eric talks about how they both listen to each other and pay attention to what the other is saying. Eric rightfully says that there is a big difference between hearing and listening and that the latter is required for a healthy relationship. This is about being respectful to your partner and listening to any issues which they may have and trying to help where possible.
Follow these tips and you could have a long lasting relationship like Eric.
