Nobody gave you a handbook on how to raise your children, especially once they’ve blown out eighteen candles on their cake and all the parenting rules and regulations are being traded in for a much more nuanced approach to being a mom or dad. However, this isn’t a moment to panic but to cherish a more mature relationship with your offspring. The stakes are high in these situations because you may have witnessed children becoming estranged from their family after over-intrusive parenting, but the reality is that parenting young adults should be a unique blend of friendship and compassion.
Boundaries
Whether your son or daughter is living at home or on the other side of the world, it is important to limit how intrusive you are in his or her life. The ubiquity of smartphones unlocks the potential for a constant dialogue between two people and perhaps that is the easiest way for you to deal with your child leaving home after having cherished their company and love for so long. Think again when you’re tempted to call or text; sometimes, the most loving thing to do is to allow full independence to develop in your children.
Money Matters
Financial opportunities and the job market are both wildly different to how they were a few decades ago, so perspective is important here. You need to allow your offspring to grow up and take on more opportunities, but support them when they need it, too. Sit down with them and have a potentially uncomfortable conversation with them about their spending habits and try to listen to their worries rather than allowing yourself to show anger or shock at their spending. It isn’t wrong to help them out before they get on their feet, however, one of the things that pushes adult children away from their parents is for the parent to use financial support as a form of control.
Lifestyle
It is hard to know your limits when you have just become an adult and many social encounters that your young one experiences may involve alcohol and even drugs. It is normal for young adults to experiment, however abusing either of these substances can be potentially fatal. You are still their parent, and you need to reserve judgment if they tell you that they have a problem. This is something that you cannot ignore, and rehab facilities in Colorado focus on helping young people who struggle with addiction – something to bear in mind as a parent.
Treat Them As Adults
Respect young adults’ boundaries and their new maturity. If you lead by example your kids are more likely to follow you towards success, rather than react against you. It is a time to relax rules for your kids while putting a few rules in place for yourself such as having an open mind, practicing effective communication, and developing an adult-on-adult relationship with those you raised from birth.
Finding the right balance may be difficult to start with, but soon you’ll learn how to establish a new supportive relationship with your grown-up offspring.
